Writing With Blood (Or: What I Learned From a Mood Board)

Note:

Written in October 2020 for VIS 41 in college — a sophomore, asked to compile a set of visual influences and write about them. I opened by admitting I don't really connect with art. I have since built a life around it. The closing line surprised me when I wrote it and still does.

Writing with Blood

Although I would scarcely call myself an artist, or even someone that enjoys art, I find that much of my work is influenced by the same themes. Art is a foreign concept; abstract or concrete, it baffles me and rarely connects emotionally. When asked to compile a set of influences, I was confused and, quite frankly, stuck. I chose, then, to simply write down some words that I associate with myself and to see what the internet had to offer me as a visual. I then scoured images and found things that intrigued me, choosing to associate meaning with them after selection rather than before. 

The main influences are cultural; I associate heavily with my heritage, and therefore found ways to use those visuals in order to create meaning. Images of ankle bells, mangoes, and temple bells link together to show how my beliefs and passions are clarified by a tether to my Indian heritage. Then moving onto an image of food served traditionally on banana leaves, the jarring sight of forks and knives show how there is a disconnect between my Western upbringing as well as the perception many have of Indian culture. I really enjoyed picking the Indian images because I was more interested in how the aesthetics of the image could convey my feelings. Since I am more connected to that part of my persona, I was able to choose things that I felt accurately depicted me. 

The camera, pen, and bookshelf all tie together, showing how focus allows one to write their own story, regardless of whether outsiders can see the 3-dimensional aspects of a person. And the last few images are there to show my outward motivations, such as environmental justice and mental health awareness, as well as the idea that perfection is derived from chaos. 

I am not a perfect person. I am not a visual artist. I am not a lot of things, and yet my images show that there is potential to grow. The simplicity of an image like green mangoes shows that it takes time and effort to grow anything, and that everyone’s preferences will not align. It is that journey and willingness to keep improving oneself that is impactful. I realized, post creation, that I never highlighted my struggle in any image. None relate specifically to personal flaws, hindrances, or trauma. This was rather shocking to me, since I do think about the past and how my life could have been improved or how it would have changed the present. The fact that my images generally revolve around my current or future state is most likely a subconsciously positive outlook. That, or I simply liked the images and didn’t search much farther. However it is interpreted, I find it amusing that I chose to show positivity even through images like the statue with red hands-- while it may show a blindness to the plight of mankind and the self, it also shows that change is possible. If the hands simply remove the blindfold, then life will become clearer. I like to think that my images show a possibility rather than reality. 

The most disconnected image is that of the installation in Venice-- the two hands holding up a building seem to be unrelated to my personal foundations. While the other images are about my personal story, that picture paints a different narrative. It is solely related to my external motivations. As the bookshelf image might suggest, my motivations are often shadowed, with only a few “books” illuminated. This idea of external reality and internal thought is so interesting because it makes me think about the false notions of perfection that we have put upon ourselves as a society-- especially with the advent of social media. By not constantly bringing up my personal narrative, I choose to find external goals. The sculpture is a call to action with regards to environmental reform, and it has long been a passion of mine. I dream of a world in which we can feel safe to inhale deeply. This goal is tied to my theme because I want to write that hope into reality. Thus, an appreciation for natural imperfection can be fostered, and we, as a society, can grow to love the untamed, unsculpted beauty of the world. 

The images feel a little disconnected at first glance, which I really appreciate because I, myself, am somewhat random and disjointed at times. I have had to struggle with how to blend my life together as well as find a purpose that drives me. This is accurately reflected in my visual display. Although none of the images are “influences” in the traditional sense, they are representations of facets of my personality that have been a driving force in my life. When I picked the images, I was able to visualize things that I wanted to be more important as well as recognize flaws in my viewpoint. I realized that there were things I wanted to change and explore, and by doing this collection I was able to really reflect. 

Overall, I have realized that my theme is simply that of the ability to write your own story with ink made of blood. By relying on cultural influences, and focusing on the imperfections that make us whole, we can fuel external goals and craft an image to show the rest of the world.